Beef
What it is: After a mouthpiece, or piece of instrument is dropped and makes that ping, we all say "Beef."
Why we do it: for fun, why else
How it originated: From Jim Cook: “We started calling that moron beef the first time we met him. We used to make all the rookies stand during our first meeting and tell us lots of information about themselves. After listening to him banter about his damned cattle farm and how he would bring us steaks during the season, one of the other rookies, “Booster”, just shouted out Beef to shut him up. For the remainder of the year anytime anyone dropped anything, or started long boring ass stories…. the term “BEEF” would echo throughout. Sad…but true.”
A Side note: Other sections think they are as cool as us and say this sometimes now too. Uncreative bastards.
Battle
What it is: Your hat is stolen during the homecoming parade by drunken frat boy, or disgruntled Iowa fan; you get your hat back by any means necessary, and don’t return to the band until you have it.
Why we do it: if we don’t we are out of uniform.
How it originated: It happened before, so let it be written, so let it be done.
Convoy
What it is: The section sings the chorus to Convoy as we leave somewhere on buses
Why we do it: Because we do
How it originated: Tater started singing it, made it a full time tradition in 2000.
Ski-U-Mah Plume Cheer
What It Is: Taking your plume in your hand, starting on your left and moving it to the right hten to the left and back right around in a circle while slowly saying Ski-U-Mah. You need to see it to understand the definition.
Why We Do It: No other section does anything like it.
How it originated: About 1996, the basketball band was in the Sweet 16, and some cheerleader from the 30’s showed the trombones there a cheer they used to do in the 30’s. It became a Bone cheer when we replaced the pom-pons with the plume of our hats.
Bone Bus Bitch
What it is: The Bone Bus Bitch runs to grab a bus for the Bones only! Occasionally other instruments sneak on somehow... The Bus Bitch also enforces the bus rules.
Why we do it: So we get our own bus, wouldn’t you do the same thing?
How it originated: We have to take busses to the Metrodome.
What does the Bone Bus Bitch say: “Bone Bus, no singing, no dooking”
Who is the current Bone Bus Bitch: Mike "Boone" Weum is the 2007 Bone Bus Bitch.
Past Bus Bitches:
2006 - Trevor "Flounder" Anderson
2005 - Brian "Boof" Davis
2004 - Nick "Fargo" Lindberg
2003 - Bryan "Spaz” Nelson
2002 - James "Buttons" Klovstad
2001 - Bill “Waldo” Siitari
2000 - Pam Riegel
1999 - Derek Barto
1998 - Bridget Ehemann
1997 - Kathy “Veal” Schmul
1996 - Heather Stoy
Glue Boy
What it is: This nickname is given to people whose first and last names are 1 syllable.
Why we do it: From Pat Toft: "To my knowledge, that started in 1992, Cook’s rookie year. Kari Sprague, a mellophone player who, despite being a very nice and generally reputable person, would occasionally socialize with trombone section members, took to yelling “Jim Cook eats glue” at any opportunity. Nobody has any idea what she meant. By 1993, Cook was tired of this, and somehow convinced Kari and Ben Metcalf (the only other person to yell this) to transfer the glue-eating appellation to me. Thus, it became “Pat Toft eats glue.” Since the only logic behind both my and Jim’s glue-eating was our monosyllabic names, when Dave Lien joined the band he became the next Glue Boy."
How it originated: See above.
Other Glue Boys: Craig Haines, Matt Maus, Dave Friese, Jim Cook, Pat Toft, Dave Lein, John Roers, Matt Klein, Matt Lund, Steve Marth, Zach Hill, Nate Fong
Ninja-Swiping
What it is: Taking somebody’s mouthpiece out of their horn when we have short breaks.
Why we do it: To tell people they have to be careful of their instruments, and you are dumb for leaving it in.
What happens after a ninja swipe: See Endzone Toss and Spiking, also, if you have a nice person who swiped it, they may give it back with a warning, or they may make you play hide and seek to find who has it.
Most Important rule of Ninja Swiping: No Ninja-Swiping of school horns.
How it originated: From Pat Toft: "Bob Strootman started both of these sometime around 1994 or 1995. He claimed he did it to encourage vigilance, but in reality he was just a very bad person. (Not that I’m judging or anything. I think it’s safe to say that numerous members of the section contributed to our reputation in the rest of the band as a group whose primary traits consisted of thuggery, poor personal hygiene, deviance, and a general lack of empathy. I note that this still seems to be the case).
"Trombone section members briefly experimented with spiking other equipment, such as tuning slides and non-trombone players’ mouthpieces. That got people pretty angry and was quickly abandoned."
Spiking
What it is: Taking somebody’s mouthpiece and pressing in vertically into the ground or other substance (ice cream, peanut butter, etc.), thereby filling the mouthpiece with said substance.
Why we do it: To tell people they have to be careful of their instruments, and you are dumb for leaving it in.
What happens after a spiking: Owner of mouthpiece can be seen digging stuff out of mouthpiece.
How it originated: see "Ninja Swiping"
The Endzone Toss
What it is: Throwing someone's mouthpiece across the practice field to make them run and go get it.
Why we do it: See Ninja Swiping
Stipulation: The Endzone Toss is only in effect when practicing on turf fields, to avoid damage to mouthpieces. Also, since school horns are off-limits to Ninja Swiping, only beater horn mouthpieces may be Endzone Tossed. As a result, Endzone tosses are now quite rare, as most practices are either on asphalt or indoors with school horns.
Knuckle Messages
What it is: Older membes of the section write things on their knuckles before a game
Why we do it: Why not?
How did it originate: From Pat Toft: “Started in 1996 and also practiced by, of all people, the flagline. Basically just a good way to display forbidden messages of any sort during a game (since your hands would be gloved during inspection, the director never noticed it).
Who are some past examples?: “Werz Brez” “Corn Dogs” “Sped Racr” stuff like that
“Tmabone Musical Institute” Cake
What it is: We get a cake that says “Tmabone Musical Institute” on it on homecoming day.
Why we do it: Food, why else?
How it originated: In 1999, Doug Hawkins got a cake for the Saturday practice, and he called Cub Foods and asked for a cake “…with a picture of a trombone, that’s a musical instrument.” Cub Foods gave him a cake that said Tmabone Musical Institute instead, and it became such a big joke that a stooge will get one every year before the homecoming game.
Bone Spins
What it is: We spin on our bones like baseball bats after the last game of the year.
Why we do it: From Jim Cook: “We used to do the bone-kicks, which I see you still do, just real spontaneously after touchdowns or field goals. Eventually Hitler Becher made us do this wonderful task. So we switched it up on him and started spinning around our horns. Because none of us liked being told what to do. Again, we were assholes. This proved not very smart during one game when we scored 59 points. Eventually Becher got pissed off enough he banned us from doing anything."
Due to new school-owned horns and a new band seating arrangement, Bone Spins were relegated to only after the last game of the season.
Bone Jit-Su
What it is: The official martial art of the University of Minnesota Trombone Section. Using our Trombones (not school horns!) as weapons, epic battles take place across the practice field. The objective is to hit your opponent with your horn, while not damaging it.
Why we do it: Because our Trombones look like weapons, and it looks cool.